Some musings on showing up for people when they are struggling

 

 

Some musings on showing up for people when they are struggling💫

 

The most powerful way we can show up for others is to actually see and hear them. We don’t always know what to say or do – especially when someone is struggling- but we can always show up and just be with them. 

 

The truth is, you don’t have to “do” anything other than share space and acknowledge the other person. Just let them know you see them and try not to let your own discomfort isolate you from what the other person is experiencing.

 

That’s why these phrases can be so powerful in times of tragedy or even when people are just going through some blues:

“I can’t imagine how you are feeling.”

“This must be so hard for you, tell me more about that.”

“Do you want to talk about it some more?”

“I don’t know what to say but can I sit with you a little longer?”

“I really want to support you. What do you need the most of right now?”

 

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The biggest disservice we can cause someone during their grief/sorrow/ bad day/ depression/ hard time, is to ignore, avoid, dismiss, compare or compete with them. 

Statements such as:

 

“I know how you feel.”

“It could always be worse.. at least you don’t have….(fill in the blank with some horrific tragedy or disease)”

“It’s okay, these things happen.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“That’s a perfectly normal thing to happen. You’re okay.”

 

These statements are not only hurtful but they can be very damaging to someone who is already suffering because they cause the other person to feel even more isolated and alone than before. They might even start to think something is wrong with them because their way of processing the situation is being rejected by peers.

 

If we are privileged enough to have someone confide in us and share the depths of their sorrow with us, the least we can do is to truly allow them to show up with whatever it is they are burdened with and not try to fix them.

 

This applies to any time someone is sharing their fears/worries/problems or grief with you.

 

Mostly what people are trying to express is: “I’m dealing with some new feelings here and it’s bringing up my anxiety, fear, worries, pain etc. and I don’t know how to process all these new feelings and energy.”

 

The best thing to do is just show up and allow that person to feel whatever it is they are feeling without allowing your own discomfort (at not having a solution) steal the show.

 

💜What’s the most powerful way you’ve ever been supported in a time of need?